How I'm feeling about being a senior in college so far.

 

Image Credit: Pinterest

Hiii my divas, and welcome back!! For starters, I hope you enjoyed my previous post where I debriefed my experience in being an extra in a film! Here is a treat for you for reading through all my gabbing. 🧁🧁

Now for today's blog post, I've gone back and forth on what I wanted to write about in relation to back-to-school. Personally, I would argue that we are still in the back-to-school season! Although some schools started back in July, so maybe I am just really late to the game.

Anyway, I decided to share how I'm feeling about now being a senior in college, which feels kind of crazy to say. So I've been in school for about four weeks now, and I would appreciate some snaps for making it that far. But overall, I wanted to share how I've been feeling, as I've kind of been all over the place. 

With this being my last year of school ever (unless I decide to get my master's, but we shall see), it feels kind of crazy, as I've been in the routine of going to school for 18 years now. Thus, graduating and moving forward into "the real world" is a huge and rather daunting change.  

Speaking of which, I just applied for graduation, so it feels even more real and almost surreal getting to this point, which has brought up excitement as well as nerves. So, I couldn't help but wonder why I was feeling so incredibly nervous at my big age for 16th grade, if you will. 

Before I even started my first day of class, I was feeling more nervous than ever. Now we all have those first-day jitters, but quite frankly, I felt more nervous than I did starting middle school, and I should have been so much more nervous then. But maybe I just need to bring back that confidence that I had then to wear mismatched clothing. 

Regardless, I just couldn't help but feel so nervous, and it was like, for what? As I just had only one class for my first official day, which my high school self would have been begging for. 

But I think these nerves brought up one bigger fear, which is that time is moving, and I really am growing up. That sounds like a country song, but the point is that I feel almost not old enough to be at the age where I can graduate college. 

Also, figuring out what my exact next steps are is kind of scary, as I feel like I need to have this big grand plan for what I'm going to do next year. I can't help but fear that other people are assuming I don't have a plan, which I do have. In fact, I have multiple different plans and ways I can go, we are trying to get this degree first. 

I think what's difficult is that when you are in the arts, some people look at you weirdly, as if your field is deemed "unimportant." But just because my dreams or anyone else's are big doesn't make them small at all. 

Moving along, I think another factor in why I've been so nervous for school is due to fears of running into past characters, if you will. During my time, I've met some truly amazing people; however, I've also had some not-so-amazing encounters. There are only two past characters that I would be really nervous about running into because they were exes of mine. 🙃

I can't help but feel like I am constantly looking over my shoulder in fear that they will suddenly sneak up on me. Both experiences ended differently, and so I don't know what they would do or how I would feel. 

Plus, it's hard because I feel like I have memories attached to them through the school in both good and bad ways. So now, being back in certain buildings where I spent time with them feels like a constant reminder of what once was.  

In these moments where I feel down, I try to remember that I'm not the same person I was a year ago or even three months ago, and I do feel progress in that. But it still can feel emotional all over again, as there are traces of them even though things have ended. 

Speaking of relationships, if you recall my blog post where I lamented on how so many people my age were getting married, now I don't feel pressure to get engaged right now or anything like that. But I still see a common pattern of some people in my classes who have a ring on their finger. Which, you go girl, but I think this just adds to a feeling that things are getting real. 

What I mean by that is this is the beginning of a new journey in life. As we are starting to get out of the Early Life section in this Wikipedia page. To graduate from college and just make it to that step is a big deal. With that comes a lot of change, which can be both scary but also super exciting!

But may we look forward to the future and cherish our past experiences as they make us better, stronger, and happier. 

Plus if my freshman self in college could see me now, she would definitely be so stoked. Because during my freshman year, I was heavily considering transferring at first because I felt like I had no one here, but then I joined my campus newspaper during my sophomore year and met so many people!

While I have met some rather unique people too, I was just begging to have someone to talk to my freshman year, and now I've been able to talk to many people!

To end this post on a positive note, I thought that I would share some advice that I have learned throughout all my years in school. So, no matter what grade you are going into, hopefully these tips and tricks can help!

First things first, you need a little emergency kit. What you decide to put in your emergency kit can vary, but here's what I would recommend. For starters, I would put in any pain medication such as Advil or simply whatever works for you. 

Then definitely pads or tampons, whichever you prefer, because you want to always be prepared if that red monster comes. Lastly, band-aids are always helpful just in case, as well as a simple antibiotic cream. 

Then this next item to bring might seem a bit weird, but trust me, it has saved my life. I highly recommend getting a mini handheld fan. For my divas that are walking all over the place, especially in the heat, and also are anxious, it's so nice to just be able to fan yourself off and refresh. 

Speaking of my divas that are naturally more anxious and tend to sweat, I would highly recommend getting a spray deodorant or using the PanOxyl Bacne Spray. 

If you are not prone to sweating easily, then you better thank your lucky stars because it's not fun. But on the first day, it's very easy to feel nervous, and if you are walking all over in the heat, that adds to the sweat. So either spraying deodorant on or the PanOxyl Bacne Spray will help control the sweat, so you don't feel like you're a dolphin. 

Speaking of products to help you smell good, I would absolutely bring a little roll-on perfume or a little mini travel-size perfume. That way they don't take up too much room up in your bag. Because space is limited and you don't want to break your back or shoulder carrying all of these products. 

If you are walking all over and aren't 100% sure where you are going, firstly I would recommend giving yourself a day to explore and find these classes ahead of time. You will be so stressed if you are trying to find your class 20 minutes before it starts. But even if you prep so well and still are confused, wear sunglasses so no one can see the fear in your eyes.

Then in terms of what to bring regarding makeup and skincare, you don't need to try and fit your whole makeup bag into your backpack. Firstly, I would recommend bringing a setting spray if you need a little touch-up. 

Specifically, the Urban Decay All Nighter setting spray is so good, and it comes in a travel size so it can easily fit in your bag without taking up too much space. I highly recommend this product specifically because there have been times when I've had full-on crying messy breakdowns, and then with one spritz it made me look like I was never crying in the first place. 

Also, if you are spending a lot of time in the sun or even if you are just walking for a few minutes, I would recommend having a little SPF stick just to be safe. Additionally, I would bring a little SPF spray, specifically the Naked Sundays Hydrating Glow Mist Sunscreen Top Up Spray. Although it can sting a little bit, so definitely be cautious and keep your mouth closed while spraying it. 

Then bring your lip combo for little touch-ups. Also, I would bring a few Q-tips and a little package of Kleenex if you have a smudge or want to redo your lips entirely. Overall, in your little makeup touch-up bag, I would not bring full-on blush or foundation or just overall heavy stuff because you really don't need it unless you have some after-school activity where you want to redo your makeup entirely and touch it up. 

In terms of bigger picture advice, I would firstly like to say please DO NOT place your worth in your grades. Absolutely, it's important to get good grades and do well in class, but it's also important to be a good person to yourself and to others. 

I feel that we put so much pressure on ourselves to get these good grades that we forget that in the end these numbers are temporary. But you know what numbers are more long-term: how much money is in your bank account or your credit score. 

For my divas that are starting to apply for college, please, please, please don't choose a school solely based on a guy. Choose a school that is right for you and your needs, and don't just commit to a school to follow behind a man. 

Speaking of which, also DO NOT sacrifice your education for the sake of a guy. The majority of the time, he is never worth it, so please do not shrink yourself for a man. Some people meet their future husband in school, and others don't, which is completely okay. That typically means something amazing is waiting for you. 

Equally, never let anyone bring you down. I know this is much easier said than done, but don't let someone else's OPINION dictate your happiness. Because who made them in charge, as if they know everything. 

Lastly, if you are like me and feel nervous at times, it's okay, and it's natural. But don't live in fear of something so small, like someone else's opinion. These hallways are a runway. So, let's strut down them! 

Whether you've been in school for a while now or have a school system that actually starts after Labor Day, I am wishing all of you the best of luck this year!! You got this!!! 

Now one last thing, I apologize for going MIA again, speaking of school I have been very busy with it, and I'm still in the process of working out a more consistent schedule. So, for right now just bear with me, and I promise I will not let you be starved of blog treats. Finally, if any of my readers have any topics or suggestions that they want to share such as future blog post ideas, please send them my way! 

XOXO, 

Sam 💋💋🧁🧁